Truly, I am cynical, but if I seem depressed or obsessed with death and chaos, it may simply be that, many years ago, I developed an outlook on life that is unusual by Western standards.
“The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one’s body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords, being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease or committing seppuku at the death of one’s master. And every day without fail one should consider himself as dead. This is the substance of the way of the samurai.” – “Hagakure,” by Tsunetomo
I am no warrior-scholar, but it does seem to me that the end of life and the strife leading to it is really something one should come to terms with early.